Regret

***As we grow older, it becomes much too easy to live in the world of regret, unable to move on. Stuck in the past, blind to the future. So why don't we change how we view regret. Instead of being scared to try new things for fear that we may regret them, let's instead choose to act first, and deal with regret as it comes, if indeed it ever does? ***

8/20/11

What seeems right this moment probably is, little one,
Even though you think you may regret it a second later,
Don't.
For regret is rarely right.

Some quotes from famous people on regret:

“If only. Those must be the two saddest words in the world.” -Mercedes Lackey

“Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable.” -Sydney Smith

“When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.” -Alexander Graham Bell

College- Old peice

*** I just stumbled upon this and I think it captures a few college courses very well;) ***

Winter 2011

I tried today, I really did
I wasn't going to give in without a fight
My computer left at home
Asleep
Doing what I wanted to
Where I wished I could be

My smartphone forcefully disabled
by the lack of Sprint service
a pen in my hand
a notebook in my lap
Sitting up unnaturally straight
eyes wide open

My ears at attention
My brain awake
Focused
taking notes,
until the rambling began
and uncertainty crept into his voice
as I snuck out

My eyes began to close
hopeful that the next time they'd open
it would be 4pm
and they'd be free to wander
and look wherever they desired.

Sensory Confusion- DRAFT

***Playing with little kids has taught me one thing these past few months, adults are too rational. We want cows to eat green grass and walk slowly instead of fly, shoes belong on our feet and not our hands, and monsters don't belong in Po's antenna. Are you confused?***

8/18/11


I gulp one last look at the playscape sailing by
tasting the creativity of our games one last time
the magical ability of the slide to transform into an airplane safety chute
or the trunk of an elephant during our safaris in Africa.

My feet still hear the vibrating mulch
as it shifted under our galloping feet
releasing the metallic scent of blood from our scraped knees
as it pulled tears out of our eyes to water the grass beneath.

eh.. maybe i'll finish this later. Maybe not.







see, hear, smell, taste, touch

In the Moment 2-

8/14/11

***An attempt to describe a momemt, in the moment.***

The cold shiver in my heart
the powerful yawn that dominates my mouth
the tingling pain in my right hand
the water that pools inside my eyes
the smudged lenses on my glasses which filter how I view the world
the ghost beside me, breathing heavily
the quiet around me, punctuated by the steady stream of circulating cold air

VERY Rough Draft- Inspired by a nap- EDIT on 8/14/11

***On Wednesday, in the midst of a nap, I awoke with these words, impatient to be born into our tangible world. I'll expand on the reason behind this one soon. It's not done yet and I'll probably try to find other ways to describe what I am attempting to here. What does it remind you of?***


If I had to describe you
I'd say you were the tall blades of fresh green grass
I ran through as a child,
The lion teddy bear I never slept without,
A collage of my precious photographs,
Even though it may not be true
Because to think otherwise
Would be my betrayal of you.

LOST: Waiting to be found

***This is an ode to all that's been lost. Whether it is something as inconsequential as socks that disappeared in the dryer or one half of your favorite pair of earrings or something of a much greater magnitude- your identity lost in the pursuit of material wealth, a job, love, or a dream. Take a moment to think about what you've lost to get where you are today and to assess whether it was really worth it. I read this great quote a long time ago that talked about whether or not the sacrifices you've made in your life were worth it but I can't find it online right now:/. Here is a similar quote dealing with sacrifices: "One-half of knowing what you want is knowing what you must give up before you get it." - Sidney Howard***



8/5/11

I give up
I’m tired
Exhausted from trying to be what I am not
Wearing braids in my hair when I’d rather my dark strands fly free

It’s getting harder to pretend now
and a little scary
Because sometimes I'm unable to tell which is the act and which the truth
I’ve begun to eat, bathe, and sleep in character
Wearing a mask frozen upon my face like Botox gone wrong

I miss my wrinkles

I’ve convinced myself of many things in the past
But this farce is the worst
Because I’ve started to believe it as firmly
As I used to believe in love

Maybe to fix this, I need to rediscover myself
And what made me once unique
Cast aside the blonde wig
And my pretend love for jazz

Isn't it ironic,
That somewhere along my path to attain you,
"my truth"
I lost myself?

Change by Regression

8/2/11

I float weightlessly above my conscience
My raw desire, undirected, stings my eyes
Struggling to escape my tight hold
But I’m not going to let go until I find a worthwhile avenue

Until then, I’ll search for my one piece footise
As I travel back in time
Ravenous for some Gerber baby food
After watching scary movies that made my tummy hurt

My tears will no longer be used
To say good bye or
To avoid situations of confrontation
As I try my best to unselfishly get my way

I’m tired of leaving behind cities
And friends long grown old
But if I crawl along the floor
The only sights I’ll miss are those within arm’s reach.

My stunted yearnings will be limited
To that which I need to survive.
And it'll no longer be difficult to fall asleep
Cradled once again, in loving arms.